Tonight I had the task of telling my Mom what was happening with Dad. I had gotten a call around 4:50 from the Hospice social worker saying that Mom was getting increasingly agitated..knowing that something was going on with Dad. Debbie and I were hoping to tell her this weekend, but it needed to be done tonight. I think that was one of the hardest things I've had to do.. About 20 minutes after I got home I got a call from the Hospice House..Dad has spent most of the day asleep. There is some concern there. It could be from some of his meds, but it could be more of the cancer.
I am so very tired..bone weary! Thank you Lord for seeing us through this journey!!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Hospice House
Today Dad was moved to the Hospice House. It was determined that he needs round the clock care and Laurel House didn't really fit the bill. I spoke with Janice, a Hospice RN, and in her opinion, Dad has gone downhill since Friday when she last saw him. His stomach is very distended..he looks to be about 8-9 months pregnant..as opposed to maybe looking 4-5 months in the past! :) Janice was honest in saying that the 4-6 months prognosis was very liberal by the doctors. His transfer to the Hospice House is another indication that time is running out.
I only worked 2 hours today as I had to drive to Tacoma to sign all the admission papers. I am now Dad's guardian..he is not capable of making decisions at this time. I also picked Martie up from the kennel and brought her here. There may be a Hospice volunteer who will take her and bring her to Dad more times than I could. We'll have to see how that works out. Poor Martie is feeling displaced. She's not sure what to make of her new life. And to top it off, Emily and Tillie are here this week and Martie's not sure what to make of Tillie. Tillie follows her around. She was throwing a ball toward her, but a few times nailed Martie right on the head. Like I said...Poor Martie!! It will be good though having Emily here to help in Martie's transition.
Hospice is also offering to bring Mom out to visit Dad. What a reversal!! Dad's been visiting Mom at the nursing home regularly and the situation is in reverse. Debbie and I haven't told Mom what's going on yet. We're not sure if she'll even understand what's going on.
Thanks to my co-worker's, Erika and Carolyne who continue to cover for me when necessary! THANK YOU!
I only worked 2 hours today as I had to drive to Tacoma to sign all the admission papers. I am now Dad's guardian..he is not capable of making decisions at this time. I also picked Martie up from the kennel and brought her here. There may be a Hospice volunteer who will take her and bring her to Dad more times than I could. We'll have to see how that works out. Poor Martie is feeling displaced. She's not sure what to make of her new life. And to top it off, Emily and Tillie are here this week and Martie's not sure what to make of Tillie. Tillie follows her around. She was throwing a ball toward her, but a few times nailed Martie right on the head. Like I said...Poor Martie!! It will be good though having Emily here to help in Martie's transition.
Hospice is also offering to bring Mom out to visit Dad. What a reversal!! Dad's been visiting Mom at the nursing home regularly and the situation is in reverse. Debbie and I haven't told Mom what's going on yet. We're not sure if she'll even understand what's going on.
Thanks to my co-worker's, Erika and Carolyne who continue to cover for me when necessary! THANK YOU!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Happy Anniversary
Yesterday was my parents 55th anniversary and they had to spend it apart. As mentioned in an earlier post, my Dad is in the hospital. Thursday something was going on and he wasn't talking which got both my sister and me angry. Friday he called Debbie and asked her to come up so he could tell both of us together what's going on. Before I knew that he called Debbie, I had gotten a call from a Hospice RN who has known my Dad for a long time. My Dad was a Hospice volunteer for years. (We used Hospice back in 1982 when my Uncle Jimmy died. ) The Hospice nurse told me that they had done an evaluation..at that point I knew whatever the news was, it wasn't going to be good. She had to honor my Dad's wishes and not tell me what was going on other than he was having issues with his liver.
Long story short, my Dad has cancer that has metastasized in his liver. This is 90% as he has refused any further testing. But, all the indications are there. There are several spots on his liver. The doctors are not sure if the cancer originates in the liver or elsewhere. Dad has also refused treatment too. As hard as that sounds, I think it's an ok call.
In talking with the head of the assisted living place where Dad lives, she said that all made sense as to why he was behaving the way he was..especially the lack of appetite.
Dad's prognosis is 4-6 months. I hope that he does not suffer much. I know it's his desire to outlive my Mom, but, it doesn't look like that will be the case. I hope to snatch his external hard drive that has a lot of pictures on it and put together a digital album.
So, how do we plan for the end..or, at least the end of his earthly life. I don't know. I know that it's not going to be easy! I know though that we will get through this! I have said that I finally understand it when people say that it is a relief when someone who is very ill dies..But it still doesn't make it any easier.
This post is rambling and I think I will go to bed!
Long story short, my Dad has cancer that has metastasized in his liver. This is 90% as he has refused any further testing. But, all the indications are there. There are several spots on his liver. The doctors are not sure if the cancer originates in the liver or elsewhere. Dad has also refused treatment too. As hard as that sounds, I think it's an ok call.
In talking with the head of the assisted living place where Dad lives, she said that all made sense as to why he was behaving the way he was..especially the lack of appetite.
Dad's prognosis is 4-6 months. I hope that he does not suffer much. I know it's his desire to outlive my Mom, but, it doesn't look like that will be the case. I hope to snatch his external hard drive that has a lot of pictures on it and put together a digital album.
So, how do we plan for the end..or, at least the end of his earthly life. I don't know. I know that it's not going to be easy! I know though that we will get through this! I have said that I finally understand it when people say that it is a relief when someone who is very ill dies..But it still doesn't make it any easier.
This post is rambling and I think I will go to bed!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Today
After getting about 4-5 hours of sleep, I headed up to Tacoma today to assess Dad's situation. When I arrived at his room at the hospital, they were giving him an ultrasound. It looked to be abdominal to start, then they moved down each leg. He has a blood clot in his left leg. His red blood cell count is very low, so they gave him 2 units of blood.
I had to take Martie to the doggie Hilton and clean up some financial messes my Dad made...:) I cleaned out his apartment of any checks, so hopefully that will take care of any further problems.
I realized something while driving to Tacoma..I am just like my Dad in many ways..Emotional, move to action right away...impetous..Debbie on the other hand is a lot like our Mom...stops and thinks..analyzes, asks lots of questions..etc..you get the picture.
Either way is right and either way can be wrong too..
I had to take Martie to the doggie Hilton and clean up some financial messes my Dad made...:) I cleaned out his apartment of any checks, so hopefully that will take care of any further problems.
I realized something while driving to Tacoma..I am just like my Dad in many ways..Emotional, move to action right away...impetous..Debbie on the other hand is a lot like our Mom...stops and thinks..analyzes, asks lots of questions..etc..you get the picture.
Either way is right and either way can be wrong too..
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
A New Blog
I needed an outlet to help me thru the end of my parent's lives. I guess that can sound a bit morbid, but it's a reality in my life right now. My parents are in the process of dying. I guess we all are in the process of dying, but you know what I mean.
My Dad is once again in the hospital. I know..what's new! He will not take care of himself and I'm beginning to wonder if he is capable of taking care of himself. He's complaining the food is horrible where he lives, yet won't look to an alternative. He chooses to not eat. DUH!! HELLO!! No wonder he is in the hospital. He was there last week too..dehydrated...
In the last few weeks I feel I am walking this journey alone. My sister has been busy..I'm struggling big time with it too..where is the balance between saving the world as missionaries and ignoring family issues. I know their work is important, but I am struggling nonetheless.
My prayer is that if I'm wrong in my thinking the Lord will change my heart.
My Dad is once again in the hospital. I know..what's new! He will not take care of himself and I'm beginning to wonder if he is capable of taking care of himself. He's complaining the food is horrible where he lives, yet won't look to an alternative. He chooses to not eat. DUH!! HELLO!! No wonder he is in the hospital. He was there last week too..dehydrated...
In the last few weeks I feel I am walking this journey alone. My sister has been busy..I'm struggling big time with it too..where is the balance between saving the world as missionaries and ignoring family issues. I know their work is important, but I am struggling nonetheless.
My prayer is that if I'm wrong in my thinking the Lord will change my heart.
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