Mom is doing better. There is no answers as to why she vomited blood. We all decided that the hospital at this time would not be a good move for Mom. Any testing they might do would be invasive. Debbie came up and we visited Mom together, but she would not talk to us. We spent a couple of hours and she just wouldn't talk. She said a few yes/nos, but that was it. It was very frustrating.
Debbie will go back up tomorrow and spend more time with her. Debbie is spending the night with us.
We're off to play some Word Twist on Facebook!
Monday, June 30, 2008
News
This morning at 4:50 I got a call from Manor Care..Mom is bleeding internally. We need to decide if we want her to go to the hospital. I called Debbie..I know when we hear the phone ring, especially at that hour, we are expecting to hear the worst. Debbie's on her way up and I'm trying to decide what to do. I think I will call in and miss work. I don't know...I don't want to miss a moment with my Mom if this is the start of the end.
Debbie is on her way up and we want to talk with our Hospice nurse. Hospice House may be an alternative to the hospital. Manor Care is comfortable having her there for now and it's the best place for Mom. She would become too confused at the hospital.
It's only been 2 months since Dad's death. We will survive this, but walking through it is hard. I might have mentioned this in my last post, but my Mom has asked our Hospice social worker what happens with her body, so we need to have that discussion. It's something my Dad tried to ask her, but she didn't want to answer. It's a hard question to deal with and Debbie and I need to do that with Mom.
This whole experience with my parents, and Reg's experience with his friend John, makes us realized that all the stuff we have really isn't important. John was a lifelong bachelor and had incredible amounts of JUNK!! With my parents, we had pared them down with each move they made in recent years. I have my Dad's file cabinet and have gone through it. It's been kind of fun going through it. My Dad journaled our experiences with my Uncle Jimmy and his death back in 1982. It was published and I found the original hand written journal.
Reg and I both feel the need to pare down. We were laughing last night about what would go if one of us goes first. Reg has LOTS of books....We are both packrats too..humor aside, stuff really isn't where it's at. There was a poster out years ago that said "he who dies with the most toys, wins." A few years later an answer came out. "He who dies with the most toys still dies." That's where the truth lies.
I'll keep everyone updated..please pray!
Debbie is on her way up and we want to talk with our Hospice nurse. Hospice House may be an alternative to the hospital. Manor Care is comfortable having her there for now and it's the best place for Mom. She would become too confused at the hospital.
It's only been 2 months since Dad's death. We will survive this, but walking through it is hard. I might have mentioned this in my last post, but my Mom has asked our Hospice social worker what happens with her body, so we need to have that discussion. It's something my Dad tried to ask her, but she didn't want to answer. It's a hard question to deal with and Debbie and I need to do that with Mom.
This whole experience with my parents, and Reg's experience with his friend John, makes us realized that all the stuff we have really isn't important. John was a lifelong bachelor and had incredible amounts of JUNK!! With my parents, we had pared them down with each move they made in recent years. I have my Dad's file cabinet and have gone through it. It's been kind of fun going through it. My Dad journaled our experiences with my Uncle Jimmy and his death back in 1982. It was published and I found the original hand written journal.
Reg and I both feel the need to pare down. We were laughing last night about what would go if one of us goes first. Reg has LOTS of books....We are both packrats too..humor aside, stuff really isn't where it's at. There was a poster out years ago that said "he who dies with the most toys, wins." A few years later an answer came out. "He who dies with the most toys still dies." That's where the truth lies.
I'll keep everyone updated..please pray!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
A Dad Moment
On Thursday I had a Dad moment..It's funny where they can hit. I was at our local credit union using their coinstar..To back up a bit, at Dad's memorial service we invited guests to look at all the pins on all the hats and if one had special meaning, to go ahead and take the pin. It was actually quite fun as many people were gathered over the hats. I looked later at the hats and didn't see a pin that really spoke to me..I was kind of bummed about it too.. Reg got one from Lake Muncho, in Canada..We have a great picture of Reg in Lake Muncho! Anyway, at the credit union, dumping all these coins my Dad had, I found a pin....It was a Poulsbo pin! Need I say anymore..I started crying..briefly..thankfully the machine is set back in a hallway..THANKS DAD!! I love you and miss you!! Guess what Dad..we're even going to the Mariners game on July 4th..Don't laugh too hard!!
Friday, June 20, 2008
7 Weeks
It's been 7 weeks since Dad died. When my children were babies, I remember counting their age in weeks until they were 12 weeks. Then it went in months until they were 24 months..I think it may be the same in remembering when Dad died.
I had a real nice visit with Mom today. My uncle, Bill Pistey, is up from LA, so we met at the nursing home. He visited for about 30 minutes. I'm sure it was hard for Uncle Bill to see Mom in her current state. I know it's hard for me. After he left, Mom and I went into her room to listen to the CD from the 1980 NIBS (NW Intermediate Banking School) organ concert. The cd starts off with Dad speaking. Then Dianne (the organist) plays and it works into Dad singing "Let Us Break Bread Together." Mom and I just held hands and listened. It was beautiful. When it was over, she asked me to play it again. I need to figure out how to add it here. Ahh..another challenge..I like to think myself somewhat of a 50 year old technogeek wannabe..The concert is spread out on 2 disks and the 2nd disk ends with Dad, Mom and me singing.
The next time Debbie and I visit Mom together we need to address the issue of what her wishes are after she dies. She avoided the issue with Dad, but she has been talking with the Hospice social worker and asking what's to happen with her body. This will be a hard conversation. I'm not good at doing those without Debbie. We may ask for help from Hospice too in the discussion.
I still feel numb in my grief. I know when Mom dies I'm going to request a leave of absence from work. It may involve having to quit if they aren't able to grant it to me..the downfall of working for a small company. I am tired...my stress comes out in physical issues. My house is a mess. A lot of the mess is from going through my parents files. It needs organizing..that takes motivation and time..I have the time, I just need the motivation.
I know how much I struggle with my Dad's death and my Mom's what could be soon death, but faith in the Lord has been my salvation. I don't know how people go through life without that faith. This Sunday I'm leading worship at Moriah, the local Foursquare, and I've chosen songs that express our victory and our strength. One is "Trading My Sorrows." I guess the title says it all. It doesn't negate grief, but it says to me that it's not going to consume me.
A recent post talked about my Mom's downturn. She is still aspirating her food (where it gets into her lungs), but she does seem a bit better. She doesn't eat much, but I think part of it is the food is not "top notch." Last week Debbie brought her some berries, some avocado and a mini muffin. She ate portions of all of it. Today I brought raspberries and she liked that!
Well..enough rambling..
I had a real nice visit with Mom today. My uncle, Bill Pistey, is up from LA, so we met at the nursing home. He visited for about 30 minutes. I'm sure it was hard for Uncle Bill to see Mom in her current state. I know it's hard for me. After he left, Mom and I went into her room to listen to the CD from the 1980 NIBS (NW Intermediate Banking School) organ concert. The cd starts off with Dad speaking. Then Dianne (the organist) plays and it works into Dad singing "Let Us Break Bread Together." Mom and I just held hands and listened. It was beautiful. When it was over, she asked me to play it again. I need to figure out how to add it here. Ahh..another challenge..I like to think myself somewhat of a 50 year old technogeek wannabe..The concert is spread out on 2 disks and the 2nd disk ends with Dad, Mom and me singing.
The next time Debbie and I visit Mom together we need to address the issue of what her wishes are after she dies. She avoided the issue with Dad, but she has been talking with the Hospice social worker and asking what's to happen with her body. This will be a hard conversation. I'm not good at doing those without Debbie. We may ask for help from Hospice too in the discussion.
I still feel numb in my grief. I know when Mom dies I'm going to request a leave of absence from work. It may involve having to quit if they aren't able to grant it to me..the downfall of working for a small company. I am tired...my stress comes out in physical issues. My house is a mess. A lot of the mess is from going through my parents files. It needs organizing..that takes motivation and time..I have the time, I just need the motivation.
I know how much I struggle with my Dad's death and my Mom's what could be soon death, but faith in the Lord has been my salvation. I don't know how people go through life without that faith. This Sunday I'm leading worship at Moriah, the local Foursquare, and I've chosen songs that express our victory and our strength. One is "Trading My Sorrows." I guess the title says it all. It doesn't negate grief, but it says to me that it's not going to consume me.
A recent post talked about my Mom's downturn. She is still aspirating her food (where it gets into her lungs), but she does seem a bit better. She doesn't eat much, but I think part of it is the food is not "top notch." Last week Debbie brought her some berries, some avocado and a mini muffin. She ate portions of all of it. Today I brought raspberries and she liked that!
Well..enough rambling..
Saturday, June 14, 2008
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!
I'm still not sure how to "do" Father's Day without my father..but..I found this card on Friday and for those of you who knew him...this card is AWESOME!! It is so perfectly my Dad..read further down at the pants and hats blog if you are wondering what the significance is!
Here's a toast to you Dad!! I LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH!! And, yeah, the Mariners are real lousy this year! This would have beeen a good year for you to have said to me "I told you so!!"
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Downhill Turn
My Mom has taken a turn for the worse. In the last few weeks she's had this terrible cough. An xray was taken and it shows that some of her food is getting into her lungs. They call it "infiltrate." I saw her last Friday and her voice was real low and she was coughing. We did wander around the place like we usually do. Debbie got a call Monday from Tonya, the wonderful social worker from Hospice, saying that Mom had definitely gone downhill since Friday. She didn't get up much over the weekend and she was unable to feed herself. The food she's getting is all pureed. I talked with one of the docs at my office, as I couldn't figure out how food can get in the lungs..Apparently there is a flap that separates the trachea from the esophogas. Food is somehow getting by that.
Please pray for us..It's only been 5 1/2 weeks since my Dad died. We knew it could be close, but it's going to be difficult.
I am still struggling with normal. I am unsettled and not sure what to do about it..there are some life decisions I need to make, but have come to the conclusion that I won't make any real changes until later. There are some steps I can take in the meantime though..I just have to figure those out too..
Please pray for us..It's only been 5 1/2 weeks since my Dad died. We knew it could be close, but it's going to be difficult.
I am still struggling with normal. I am unsettled and not sure what to do about it..there are some life decisions I need to make, but have come to the conclusion that I won't make any real changes until later. There are some steps I can take in the meantime though..I just have to figure those out too..
Sunday, June 1, 2008
4 Weeks
Friday was 4 weeks since Dad died. Debbie and I shared tears and laughter. I have always been the Mommy & Daddy's girl and stayed in contact with my folks regularly. My Mom was never a phone person, but it was her I talked with until the last couple of years. It switched to my Dad and he always let me know how much he appreciated my calls. I was finally learning not to ask him how he was as it was usually not very good. Friday when I was talking to Debbie,I shared that I missed not being able to call him and asking him how he was and then saying to myself "Rats..why did I ask that??!!" We both got a laugh out of that!
Reg's folks came to visit Friday night until Saturday afternoon. I see signs of decline with them, though nothing like my folks. Just the continual repeating themselves. Don seems sleepy a lot. But, they still seem to be very active and I'm thankful for that and thankful they are in my life.
Debbie and Lenard come home from Ketchikan today. She called around 1ish from Bellingham. They will stop and see Mom before going home to Salem.
Reg's folks came to visit Friday night until Saturday afternoon. I see signs of decline with them, though nothing like my folks. Just the continual repeating themselves. Don seems sleepy a lot. But, they still seem to be very active and I'm thankful for that and thankful they are in my life.
Debbie and Lenard come home from Ketchikan today. She called around 1ish from Bellingham. They will stop and see Mom before going home to Salem.
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